A Bachelor’s Misadventure

I wake up early morning very tired, after a long night sleep you might add and will (am positive) sleep tonight full of energy. You ask why? Am glad you asked. I don’t know. This is one of the baffling things that happen in my life as I struggle with bachelorhood.

Yesterday, being Valentine’s Day and a Sunday, I was dressing for church and I simply couldn’t find one sock. Normal you say? It isn’t I say. You ask why? I turned my tiny matchbox-sized house upside down, inside out, take everything, which isn’t much outside and sort it out one by one looking for my sock. It simply isn’t there. I end up wearing mismatched socks. Thank God all my socks are black so nobody notices. Except me. The rate at which my socks are divorcing is bewildering. Now this morning am looking for my tie which was on top of my bed last night and I can’t simply locate it.Guess what I find? If you said tie am sorry go back and ask for a refund of your school fees. You guessed sock, you are wise, son. God bless you.

That is not all that leaves me wondering if there are powers high up plotting against all my positive moves. Every time I create an account online I forget my password immediately so I figured that the best move is to write it on a piece of paper and put it in a safe place. Days later when I want to put up something online I look for my notebook but I simply can’t locate my ‘safe place’. I turn my matchbox upside down and here is where I find all the millions of things that went missing things from that comb that got lost two years ago to that vest I thought someone stole last week.

I bet all these is just because am either getting too old or just unlucky or simply bad luck. I really can’t figure it out. Or maybe it is the gods communicating? I wish I had  partner to be reminding me anytime I catch this ‘forgetting’ syndrome.

I won’t even write a thing about how lines at banks start to. Move IMMINJETLY I move to a line that seems to be shorter and moving faster. Immediately am settled the line comes to a grinding halt and the other line is moving so fast even those who were behind me have been served. If I go back there the powers above might again plot to have me stuck in this bank so let me stay calm and line.

In the same morning I am contemplating seeking a marriage counselor for my socks and a marriage partner for me. Here I have turned my house inside out and upside down I am cooking tea for breakfast while brushing my shoes and combing my hair. You ask how? That is a cynical question that looks down upon me thinking I cannot multitask. I actually can. I check my sufuria and have given my milk approximately 10 minutes to boil then I add water. This 10 minutes I can put my house into a semblance of order, dress up and then take breakfast before going to work.

The gods are up against me for as soon as I start brushing my shoes all the milk pours down and you know what? There is nothing I can do about it. I am now utterly flummoxed, bewildered and frustrated. Did brushing a shoe and combing hair take 10 minutes? I must do something about this bachelorhood.
I rush out of my house and go and catch a Ganaki Sacco matatu to town. There is no passenger at the stage and sad thing is there is no matatu and when finally arrives there are no passengers and when am almost giving up 12 other passengers come and board the matatu and we go to town. We are caught in a traffic snarl up and being the impatient person I am, I disembark from the vehicle and walk towards town. Traffic opens up immediately.

Am utterly bewildered and am left with loads of questions none of which I cannot answer immediately.



Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.


This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.